Nookish

Ah, poor blog.  It’s been sorely neglected in favour of the constant barrage of exams, preparations for the GMAT (the business equivalent of the MCAT or LSAT), and grad school applications.  In my humble opinion it wouldn’t be amiss if life just slowed down a tiny bit so I can regain my balance and enjoy the last year of my undergraduate degree.

But, my usual complaints about life (too fast), the universe (too confusing), and everything (where do I even begin?) are not to be the focus of this entry.  Instead I’ve got another personal quirk to share with everyone, one that some find hilarious and others find to be some sign of insanity.  But this is me, we know which group I listen to

Ever since highschool I’ve had this random habit of naming things.  Not pets or something that actually needs a name.  No, I have a quirk which involves naming the perfectly inanimate objects that I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Now I realize where the crazy assessment of this whole idea comes in.  The big question is – why?!

Well, for one I’m sure everyone has experienced that delightful moment where that sexy little piece of technology that facilitates your life just… dies.  One minute you’re praising how shiny and fast it runs – the next you’re staring at the infamous “blue screen of death” and wondering how you could be blasted back into the stone age with just one frozen screen.  Despite knowing that it’s just an inanimate object and did not wilfully ruin your life, you can’t help but HATE the darn thing.

So yes, not everything gets a name, but those that I find myself somewhat shamefully co-dependent on do.  I have a system in deciding names.  You see, you can either name it according to the personality it displays, or you can jump the gun and name it according to the personality you’re ultimately going to demand (blindly believe in?) from it.

Here’s a bit of a rundown on the past few devices that had the pleasure to be anthropomorphized.

The Toshiba (first laptop ever – deceased)
At first it didn’t get a name because like all naive little children I believed that this was MY laptop, and that I would never need another.  And then it died.  Horribly and terribly and took three years worth of information with it.  It didn’t deserve a name

Trotsky (first cell phone ever – deceased)
I’m not really sure what happened to this one.  It was a Sony Ericsson walkman model and it was my calendar, mp3 player and cell phone.  Lovely.  Then one day it suddenly died.  My headphones suddenly came unplugged in the library, and rather than have the whole library glare at me I quickly hit the back button – resulting in my phone freezing.  It had happened before, so I did what I always did – I pulled the battery.  Only it never started up again

A history note: Trotsky was a Russian Bolshevik who escaped to somewhere in South America and died when an assassin got to him and put an icepick through his ear.

Lenin (laptop #2 – deceased)
After learning my lesson with Trotsky I wanted to choose a Bolshevik (I was on a major history kick at the time) that didn’t die suddenly and horribly surrounded by hate.  So I chose Lenin.  If you took HL History you had a minor liking for the Bolsheviks in that they were the poor underclasses that were striving for change.  Granted they didn’t *quite* get it right, but they had good intentions.  That and Lenin rose to power and then not only did he not die suddenly, but he had several strokes which, though gradually reducing his body functions, took several tries to kill him.

So, good intentions (even when they didn’t quite work out properply) and a slow decrease in functionality instead of a sudden death.  That my friends, is exactly what happened.  Lenin didn’t always work perfectly (such as when he exiled his webcam and wireless card), but he often surprised me with his sheer determination to get what needed to be done, done. Even in his dying days he ran Sims3, a game far beyond his graphics capabilities.  And when he did finally start dying (the webcam and wireless card incident were symptoms) he crashed and wouldn’t turn on, making me think that all was lost – but then miraculously restarted long enough to get me through hell week and exams until I could get him home to my dad – and then even when he died, he gave me one final opportunity to back up his entire harddrive.  So nothing was lost.  Dear Lenin, you will be missed.

Castro (external 1TB harddrive – current)
Well, he’s not part of the large Russian communist area, he’s just off ruling his own little island of information.  He may not be loved my the mainland, but he holds his ground and he actually manages to make my life more efficient.  Basically, he’s the future of this entire enterprise.  All my tv shows, books, movies, backups, etc. get cataloged there – AND there is room to spare.  Hopefully this story will end well.

Yoko-Ono (printer – current)
The story behind this is that I was explaining my naming system to Xangelo, telling him about Lenin, and asking him what to name my printer.  Unfortunately to his poor brain, Lenin and Lennon (aka John Lennon) are the same thing.  So he suggested Yoko-Ono.  After laughing for an incredibly long time, I decided it was the best idea, regardless of the source or faulty logic that it took to reach that conclusion

Yoko-Ono isn’t really part of the group.  But she’s always there, helping some times, at other times just sitting there – as if that is the best way to protest some random technical error I can’t figure out, and sometimes causing major drama.  Oh Yoko, how we love to hate you.

Skarsgard (new blackberry – current)
So in between Trotsky and Skarsgard there was another cell phone, a KRZR which does not bear mentioning.  It was tragic and one week after I got it I wanted it gone, but had to wait until my contract was up to get a nice one.
Anyways, I was on a True Blood kick and wanted to start a new trend and name my cell phone after something Scandinavian.  After shooting down a million names (wow the Norse have a twisted mythology), and one suggestion of “Wolf the Invincible” who is apparently Xangelo’s made-up hero.  In the end I gave up and named him after Alexander Skarsgard.  Pretty, entertaining, the latest thing that’s distracting me, lol.  Hopefully he doesn’t disappoint me

He also has a nickname.  Because Kit is insane and enjoys word association – Skarsgard, scotchguard, scotch tape, duct tape, duck – DUCKIE!  *le sigh*

Constantine (laptop #3 – current)
I was on another ROME kick and while all the Roman Emperors are awesome they all die horribly.  Usually killed by their own.  And some of them are INSANE.  So I chose Constantine.  First Holy-Roman Emperor.  You can debate the real history of it, but he started a trend which basically stabilized his empire, and he didn’t die too terribly.  The main reason is that he has a cool name.  And please, John Constantine (of graphic novel fame) is teh shit.

So that’s it for now.  I hope I’m not angering anyone by forgetting them

As a side note, Kit names her crap too – her laptops after demons (explains why she’s constantly battling them and they DIE spectacularly ), her new phone after an actor (Enver Djokai – nicknamed Bubbles because of the look).  And poor Lex, even though we helped her name her laptop after Lucien from the Lords of the Underworld series, her phone got named buttpuppet (it’s a Wonderfalls reference) which for propriety’s sake got shortened to !puppet.  Yes, you pronounced the ! as a click

Hm.  Suddenly this feels like WAY too much information on the crazy I choose to indulge in.  Lmao, ah well.  Enjoy